Swede Sixteen

captureYes, it’s a disco ball made with hypodermic needles. Get in the car, I’ll explain everything on the way.

So I decided to bring my work home and attempt some science parodies. This is the first crack, inspired by my daughter bringing home a permission slip for her meningitis vaccine – provided to all 15 year-olds nowadays – thanks Aussie government! But where the bloody hell were you when I was her age ?! Oh the current vaccine hadn’t been developed then? Okay. And now it has! Thanks science! That’s way cool! So many people to thank! If I sound overly exuberant, it’s just all the gratitude spilling over as I think back to that time when I was sixteen and doctors and nurses recognised that I had contracted bacterial meningitis and gave me very swift and life-saving medical treatment ultimately leading me here to write this tonight. In a way, you could say that this blog is their fault.

Bacterial meningitis,  by the way,  is an inflammation / infection of the membranes that line the brain and spinal cord which can kill and it hurts a real lot the whole time you have it. 0/10 would not recommend.

Speaking of history, I’ve repurposed ABBA’s Waterloo to make it slightly less about Napoleon and slightly more about herd immunity:

When I
Was a teen, meningitis almost killed me
And now
My teenage kid is far less bound to endure a similar fate
Thanks to some science know-how
We have a vaccine for it now

Vaccinate, save a life now before it’s too late
Vaccinate, keep your immunity up to date
Vaccinate, the science is clear there is no ‘debate’
Vaccinate, a ‘simple’ disease can debilitate
Oh, oh, oh, oh, vaccinate, wherever you can, you should vaccinate

Oh no
There are a few who cannot have the vaccines
And so
It falls in us to shield these folks the best we can
And the easiest way to comply
Is to immunise you and I

Vaccinate, old time diseases, we had them licked
Vaccinate, misinformation had some people tricked
Vaccinate, as a result, they became less strict
Vaccinate, and measles has horrible pain to inflict
Oh, oh, oh, oh, vaccinate, time to kick measles right in the dick

And the easiest way to comply
Is to immunise you and I

Vaccinate, don’t risk our kids over some old hoax
Vaccinate, polio’s no fun for any folks
Vaccinate, we could get HPV on the ropes
Vaccinate, see if it’s time for your booster dose

Oh, oh, oh, oh, vaccinate give these diseases the adios

Vaccinate, sometimes the little things help the most

(c) 2019