Swede Sixteen

captureYes, it’s a disco ball made with hypodermic needles. Get in the car, I’ll explain everything on the way.

So I decided to bring my work home and attempt some science parodies. This is the first crack, inspired by my daughter bringing home a permission slip for her meningitis vaccine – provided to all 15 year-olds nowadays – thanks Aussie government! But where the bloody hell were you when I was her age ?! Oh the current vaccine hadn’t been developed then? Okay. And now it has! Thanks science! That’s way cool! So many people to thank! If I sound overly exuberant, it’s just all the gratitude spilling over as I think back to that time when I was sixteen and doctors and nurses recognised that I had contracted bacterial meningitis and gave me very swift and life-saving medical treatment ultimately leading me here to write this tonight. In a way, you could say that this blog is their fault.

Bacterial meningitis,  by the way,  is an inflammation / infection of the membranes that line the brain and spinal cord which can kill and it hurts a real lot the whole time you have it. 0/10 would not recommend.

Speaking of history, I’ve repurposed ABBA’s Waterloo to make it slightly less about Napoleon and slightly more about herd immunity:

When I
Was a teen, meningitis almost killed me
And now
My teenage kid is far less bound to endure a similar fate
Thanks to some science know-how
We have a vaccine for it now

Vaccinate, save a life now before it’s too late
Vaccinate, keep your immunity up to date
Vaccinate, the science is clear there is no ‘debate’
Vaccinate, a ‘simple’ disease can debilitate
Oh, oh, oh, oh, vaccinate, wherever you can, you should vaccinate

Oh no
There are a few who cannot have the vaccines
And so
It falls in us to shield these folks the best we can
And the easiest way to comply
Is to immunise you and I

Vaccinate, old time diseases, we had them licked
Vaccinate, misinformation had some people tricked
Vaccinate, as a result, they became less strict
Vaccinate, and measles has horrible pain to inflict
Oh, oh, oh, oh, vaccinate, time to kick measles right in the dick

And the easiest way to comply
Is to immunise you and I

Vaccinate, don’t risk our kids over some old hoax
Vaccinate, polio’s no fun for any folks
Vaccinate, we could get HPV on the ropes
Vaccinate, see if it’s time for your booster dose

Oh, oh, oh, oh, vaccinate give these diseases the adios

Vaccinate, sometimes the little things help the most

(c) 2019

Born to Ride

[ Original song: Born to Run by Bruce Springsteen and the E-Street Band, although I quite fancied the cover by Frankie Goes to Hollywood and often sing that version in my head. There I said it.

FNR = Friday Night Ride, a group ride organised on the internet for skilled riders, and alleged to be of a rather enthusiastic pace ] .

Born to Run
In the day we tear it up in the hijinks of runaway off-topic threads
At night we ride through the back-roads and highways with the mongrels and thoroughbreds
Sprung from driveways obscure and discreet
High-octane premium and taking over the streets
Baby this town is half-asleep
We’re the black sheep, we’re in waist deep
We gotta take that in our stride
`Cos tramps like us, baby we were born to ride

Clear out some DMs I wanna be your friend
I want to sneak in under your guard
Just perch your feet on the pillion pegs
And hold on fairly hard
Together we could split from the pack
We can set the pace before leisurely dropping back
Will you give me the nod to go
`Cos baby I’m just a scared and lonely rider
But I gotta escape this place
And if I’m going to fall, it might as well be from grace

Down by the river a low rumbling growl stirs along The Boulevard
Meanwhile coastal roads bear the high-pitched roar
That marks the start of the FNR
High-beams at night cast an eerie light
As we carve through the Swan Valley mist
Then you drop a gear and scream ahead
An invitation too good to resist

The tunnel’s lit up with all the excitement of an overdue social run
Everybody’s out to be seen tonight but I’m only looking for one
Together one day we can live with the derp
I’ll rub out this hurt and baby we’ll never look back
Someday soon, I can’t say when, were gonna get to that place
Where we really should be and we won’t have to hide
But till then, tramps like us, baby we were born to ride